Non-Veg SMS

This page contains Non-Veg SMS.
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Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet
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• A man was f****** a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.
Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don’t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts
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• Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal for f*** who dont know when to pull outQ: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
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A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honourSex poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size, it's not how many times u can make it rise. It's not how well it fits, but how late it spits
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Desk-top is what u do with the Secretary in the office;
Lap-top is what u do with the girlfriemd in the room;
Palm-top is when u r without them and alone.
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Schoolgirl: I do not want to the Sex Education.
Teacher: Why not?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me the final exam wud be ORAL
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Lady: I'm warning u, my hubby is coming back in half an hour.
Man: But I'm not doing anything.
Lady: That's why I'm warning u. Hurry up.
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Bihari Babu: Arre O doctarwa, kaisa nasbandi kiye ho humaar? Biwi phr se maan banne wali hai.
Doc: Hum nasbandi tohar kiya hoon pura Bihar ka nahin.
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Judge: U r fined Rs 11420
Rapist: 11420 ??
Judge: 10000 for rape, 10.2% entertainment tax & 4% VAT
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Woman: Doc saab mujhe thode din bachcha nahin chahiye.
Doc: Yeh Condom Le Lo.
Woman: Ye pani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath
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Romantic/Love SMS

Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.
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Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical.
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24hrs make a lovely day,
7 days make a lovely week,
52 weeks make a lovely year & knowing a
person like me will make ur life lovely.
Have a lovely day n life!**
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Wen things go wrong...
Wen sadness fills ur heart...
wen tears flow in ur eyes...
always remember 3 things
1) I'm with u...
2) Still with u...
3) Will ALWAYS b...
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Luv meanz to see someone with closed eyez,
to miss some1 in crowd,
2 find some1 in every thought,
to live 4 some1, luv some1, but sure tht sum1 is ONLY one!
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Khushi se dil ko aabad karna...
Aur gham ko dil se azad karna,
Hamari bus itni gujarish hai ke hame bhi
Din me ek baar YAAD karna...
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If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever..
If Your askin if I'll Leave U the answer is Never..
If Your askin what I value the Answer is U..
if Your askin if I love U the answer is I do.
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I dream about you evey night
I shiver when your in sight
I long to hold you close n tight
I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I'm the girl whos right
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When i look at you,
i cannot deny there is God,
cause only God could have created some one
as wonderful n beautiful as you
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If i reached for your hand , will u hold it ?
If i hold out my arms, will u hug me ?
If i go for your lips, will u kiss me ?
If i capture ur heart , will u love me ??
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Smile in Pleasure
Smile in Pain
Smile when trouble pours like Rain
Smile when sum1 Hurts U
Smile becoz SOMEONE still
Loves to see u Smiling!!
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No shadows 2 depress u
only joys 2 surround u
many friends 2 luv u
God himself 2 bless u
These r my wishes 4 u,
for today, tommorrow & everyday
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C.L.I.C.K. means :
C= cant live without u
L= love u
I= i miss u
C= care about u
K= kiss from my heart 2 u
So whenever u miss me just say CLICK.
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Don't go for looks,
they can deceive
Don't go for wealth
even that fades away.

Go for sum1 who makes u
smile becoz only a smile makes
a dark day seem bright..
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As days go by, my feelings get stronger,
To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.
Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,
Day & Night my thought r of U..
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All I wanted was sum1 2 care 4 me
All I wanted was sum1 who'd b there 4 me
All I ever wanted was sum1 who'd b true
All I ever wantedwas sum1 like U...
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Love is like a CD track
That links our hearts together
Dont ever break that CD coz
That wud break my heart too.........
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Softly d leaves fo memories wil fal,
i'll pick them up & gather them all,
coz 2day, 2moro & til my life is through
i'll cherish having sum1 like u!
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Memories r treasured
no1 can steal.
Parting is heartache
no1 can heal.
Sum'll 4get u wen ur gone
but i'll remember u
no matter how long..
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Funny SMS

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

I want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)

One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"

Can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????

Terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

Girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Punjabi SMS

Masa masa aai si maut, ik hor adchan pai gai,
Oh kal milan da wada kar gai, sanu umar wadhani pai gai.

Fer ki hoya je tu hatha utte mehandi la lai,
hun assi v sehra sajawange,
sanu pata si ki tu sadi kismat ch nai,
hun teri choti bhen fasavangey..

Baah fad ke rok lenda, je chalda koi zor hunda,
assi tere piche kyo rulde, je tere jeha koi hor hunda.

Students Exams SMS

A father asks peon: How are the studies in this college? Where do I see my son in future?
Peon: The future is bright, I had also completed my engineering from the same college!

Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 33 runs.
Dravid: What happened, its not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes, but the students understand the importance of scoring 33.

My nights are going sleepless, my days are going useless. So I asked GOD, "is this love?". GOD replied, "no dear, result is near".

To be a "Good professional", always start to study late for "Exams". Because it teaches how to manage "Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Burraaah......
Sara syllabus padh liya...
Bas books aur notes padhne reh gaye hain...

Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

Class ki har ladki ek phool hai, Usse chahna ek bhool hai. Jo inki soch mein gul hai, Samjho uski Compartment ke chances full hai..

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: "mere paas degree hai, knowledge hai, 4 logon mein baithne ki izzat hai. Tere paas kya hai?".
Sweeper: Mere paas naukri hai.

Sorry SMS

I'm sorry for blaming you...
For everything I just couldn't do…
And I've hurt myself by hurting you…
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again…
Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there…

Remember the good times we had spent together, and the beautiful future we had dreamy of...
Darling I never wanted to create a distance between us...
Please let us bridge the gaps...

I'm sorry to be smiling every time you're near.
I'm sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you're here.
I'm sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I'm sorry I love you, I can't help it.

SORRY
Dont get confused, arey baba
'SORRY' means
S - SOME O - ONE'S R - REALLY, R - REMEMBERING Y - YOU.

Friendship SMS

Friendship is not about finding similarities, it is about respecting differences.
You are not my friend coz you are like me, but because i accept you and respect you the way you are.

Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know.
My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friend like you - a precious gift from God.

Good FRIENDS CaRE for each Other..
CLoSE Friends UNDERSTaND each Other...
and TRUE Friends STaY forever
beyond words,
beyond time...**

FRiEND in different lanaguages...
Iranian - DOST
German - FREUND
Herbew - CHAVER
French - AMi
Pinoy - KAiBiGAN
Dutch - VREND
Mexican - AMiGO
For me.. just simply "YOU"

Stars has 5 ends
Square has 4 ends
Trinagle has 3 ends
Line has 2 ends
but Circle of our friendship has no end...

A daily thought...
A silent tear...
A Constant wish that u r near...
Words are few but thoughts r deep...
Memories of our frenship i'll always keep!!


Being a friend is not just sharing a joke, a conversation, a cup of coffee or a funny story.
means sharing an honest and true part of yourself.

In this cruel world it is very difficult to find friend with beautiful heart, pure feelings, attractive personality & stylish looks. So learn to value me!

When I was born, GOD said, "Oh No! Another IDIOT".
When you were born, GOD said, "OH No! COMPETITION".
Who knew, one day these two will become FREINDS FOREVER!


Sometimes in life we think we don't need anyone.
But sometime we don't have anyone when we need...
So don't let your best buddies go ever...